One Matters

It was my birthday yesterday (yey?). My friends and relatives started texting me since Monday, saying their hellos and greeted me with joy.

Almost everybody greeted me. Yes, almost, not all. My husband, family, relatives who could contact me, and friends, greeted me, but one. The most important person in my life didn't call me, nor text me. Nada...(*sigh)

I don't feel like my birthday at all. I was so down, and just wanted the day to end (fast), rather, skip the whole day. On the contrary, the presents my hubby gave me yesterday (pink flowers and a teddy), uplifted my feelings a little bit.

But somehow, this particular one greeting, which didn't come, affected my mood yesterday. (*sigh) So much for having a birthday.

Bad Day

I was trying my best to control my temper yesterday so as not to ruin this day. Unfortunately, bad luck has it's ways.

So, despite my effort to make this day happy, at the end of the day (perhaps, at the middle of the day), all my effort was useless. I was swept by my emotions, and burst into tears. I just wished this day didn't come. *sigh

*************

I forgot! Added to my sentiments: my salary today is not at all satisfying. huhuhu...This is really not a good day for me. =(

White Lies

There comes a time in our lives that we feel really down. Someone gives advices and lifts up your sad feeling. Then, you'll suddenly feel confident of yourself. You're happy and you'll move on.

Then all of a sudden, when you are now really proud and confident, the same someone would say "I think you misunderstood" or "I don't think you know what really happened". There we go again, your self-esteem decreases again.

Sometimes, there are just some things that MUST be left unsaid. And, thus, the existence of white lies. But which should I prefer? I'm confused. *sigh

Even Better

I cried so hard last night. An officemate told her story about the technical interview she got on our company before. I was shocked when she told us that she forgot about SDLC, which was asked to her by her would-be TL that time, but she became a developer. So last night, I asked myself: "Why did I become a QA?"

Life is really unfair. So I cried so hard because it was unjust. My eyes was starting to swell, but Joemz was giving an advice. Well, thanks to him, I stopped crying. I thought: "Yeah, why should I cry? I can't do anything now, but I can't feel sorry forever, either."

So there it is, before I sleep, I said to myself, tomorrow, I will not feel low. Then I prayed to God to give me strength to continue. So this morning, I walked towards the office, saying: "I am only a QA, but I'm a lot better than several of the developers here!"

Now I'm smiling! ^_^

Listening?

Have you ever experienced being so stressed out and worried and feel that your world has fallen apart? It's nice to have someone who would listen to all your complains, that would willingly submit his or herself to you while you are whining about what happened to you or how unfortunate you were.

Well, so much for that. Maybe I shouldn't expect someone to do such thing for me. After all, no ones like that anymore. If there is, he/she is one of "endangered species". And I know for a fact, I'm not a good listener either. So for myself...SHUT UP!

Busy???

No, I'm not. I was busy this morning, but not anymore. *sigh

Our server is having it's down time again (in short, no work!). I don't have a copy of my scripts' steps, so now I'm not doing anything. I remembered some, and that's what I did this morning. But right now, BUM!

My solution? I'm busying myself with editing my pictures. I have this GIMP software that works like photoshop. I started editing this morning with my resume's picture. Yep, resume.

I'm enjoying it anyway. It's my way of filling spaces in between office hourse. I'd rather modify images and learn graphics that browsing through the internet, and momentarily increase my usage (bad record!! hehehe)

So that's it. I'm not busy with work, I'm busy with other non-work-related things -- PICTURES!!!

Shocked!!! Frustrated!!!

I wasn't the one who was shocked, but thanks for your concern. Hehehe. My friends back in high school were shocked with my news. =p
But I'm the one who got frustrated this morning.

Two of my high school classmates texted me last night (namely Kristian and Art. hehehe). I was eating dinner and they were hurrying me up because they wanted to meet with me. *sigh Anyway, they asked for my help in looking for an apartment or a room for rent. Kristian will be staying here in Cebu soon, and he needs a place near IT Park (he'll start training on Monday). Currently, he's staying in Labangon, together with one of his barkada (also one of our classmates before). Art, on the other hand, is living here (also in Apas), but has no experience of looking for a house/room to be rented.

Anyway, while waiting (I didn't actually know what we were waiting for last night..hihi), they we're telling my stories about our former classmates, that one of our classmates is pregnant. My reaction was plain, and they were like "OK, wala siya na-shock" (OK, she isn't surprised at all). I mean, if you have a son and you heard a news that someone's pregnant, who would be surprised? Well, they didn't know about my baby. So I told them "Ako, dili mo mangutana? Naa na ko anak" (How about me, wouldn't you ask me? I already have a son.). They were like "Ei? Atik?!?" (Really?). They couldn't believe what I just said and the thought kept hanging on their heads. They wouldn't believe me until I showed them my son's pictures.

OK, after looking for a house, we went to Ayala to meet another classmate (Herlene). Before we got in the mall, we met Grace, one of our batchmates (now Kidapawan is starting to flock here in Cebu. hehehe). We decided to take out some food and drop by her pad in Golden Prince Hotel to have a chat. We met with Herlene inside and bought pizza, then to Golden Prince. We were having a good chat until Grace asked me how I was doing. Kristian was like "Sige na, Mel. Ingna si Maming (Grace)" (Go ahead, Mel. Tell Maming).

So there! As I was breaking the news, she was like "Wait! Wait! Wait!". Herlene couldn't believe it herself. The idea of me getting pregnant and having a child is really different from what they expected. It was so hard for them to absorb the news. Hehehe...so there! they were shocked!

Second part, I was really frustrated this morning. I was on my way to Alto Manpower Services, the agency that got me that stupid helper. Their office is the 2nd floor Ouano Building, Banilad, Cebu. The traffic was so heavy and I was starting to get pissed off. When I was already downstairs, they texted me, they can't give the refund that I asked. So there, I went in and started telling them how their f**cked up agency got me into trouble. My voice is already high (but I'm not yelling), and the secretary was like "Wala man gud napirmahan ni Ma'am and withdrawal slip. Nya, tu-a siya sa Bohol. Hatagan lang taka ug number niya, Ma'am para ma-text nimu siya" (Ma'am forgot to sigh the withdrawal slip and she's currently in Bohol. I'll just give you her number so that you can text her).

I was so furious while answering her back, my voice was already shaking because of anger. "Unsaon ko man nang number niya nga inyo na man kong naperwisyo? Musaad mo nga karon unya wala diay gihapon!" (What will I do with her number that you've already got me into a big trouble? You told me that I'll have it today, but then again, I get nothing!).

It was the first time that I showed great anger to other people that I don't even personally know. I'm always polite in confronting other people but this morning was different, I was raging with anger. But after I left the agency, on my way to the office, I felt really good.

Now thinking about it, what will happen if CAP still tells me that I still can't claim my four-semesters-worth reimbursment? Hmmmm

Mixed Emotions

I have this mixed emotions today.

First off, I'm very happy that my fiance visited me here in Cebu. He arrived in Cebu around 11pm last Friday and arrived home around 12mn. Saturday, we watched Harry Potter, and bought a new pair of eyeglasses for me. It was so costly and actually regret why I agreed to buy that. Nonetheless, I'm happy. He said, it's OK, by the way.
Anyway, the next day, we went to TimeZone to play. Then we got home, and sleep. Hehehe.
Then monday, his flight was 5pm. I was so sad because he's leaving again. And so we cherished every moment we have yesterday (that's why I was absent from work).

This morning, I woke up gloomy. But at least I feel happiness inside me, at least we were together for the weekend. I glad with that alone. I can still see a smile on my face whenever I remember the weekend. *sigh

For the second part of this blog, I already submitted my resignation letter to my manager, put our BU manager, HR Managers, Team Manager, TL, and Mentor on copy. My TL talked to me right after I emailed my first notice to him. I was forcing myself not to cry but I can't help it. It really hurts my feelings to leave the company, eventhough I'm not satisfied with my job. After talking to my TL, I e-mailed my formal resignation letter.

So here, I'm really, really sad. Part is because I'm here all alone again, and part is because I will be leaving this company soon. But mixed with sadness, I am happy. Part is by thinking about my weekend escapade, and part is by thinking I'm gonna be home soon, to my son.

Well, wish me luck!

Comfort Zone

I really feel down today.

My friend's mother died yesterday morning. She had a nervous breakdown I think last Saturday, and was comatosed Monday. And yesterday morning, my friend texted me that the doctor finally pronounced her mother's death.

I feel so useless. She's one of my closest friends (one of my few true friends, in fact) but I can't even be there to comfort her. I wanted to go home, be there for here, but I can't.

Tomorrow's the burial, but I can't go there. All I can do right now, given that I am far from my friends, is to pray, that she will be OK despite of what happend.

After what happened, I realize, it's a good thing I'm going home for good. I won't be far from my friends anymore. And most especially, I can be there on their side to help there. I've only got a few good and true friends, and I want to treasure that friendship.

About God

I stayed up late last night watching a movie feature in QTV. It was an old movie and I don't even know the title. But one thing that caught my attention in the movie was the old man who portrayed God in one of our movie reviews back in College. Surprisingly, he played as both God and the Devil in last night's movie.

Anyway, let's talk about the movie.
It's about a guy, wedding singer, who wanted more than he has. He had a wife who's contented with what they had, but he wanted more. He wanted to be a star. And so, the Devil made a deal with him (he didn't know he was the Devil at first). Bobby Sheldon (the wedding singer) agreed to be a celebrity. What he didn't know, he become someone he isn't (aka Billy Wayne). He former life was taken away from him, including his own wife (who knew another Bobby Sheldon after "Billy Wayne" signed the contract of the Devil). But he was famous, rich, and people adored him. He was into fornication.

Then he returned to his wife (who didn't know him at all, aside from the fact that he's the famous "Billy Wayne"). Then he knew that she was pregnant with his child. He wanted his life back. He seeked help from God (the same old man who portrayed the Devil), and God told him to pray.

"Billy Wayne" thought he was hopeless, so he thought of killing himself. In the other side of the story, God met with the Devil. They were in Las Vegas (imagine that???). God played with the Devil, with Billy's life in the line. If God wins, He gets the boy back, including his previous life. But the Devil wins, he gets the boy, and all the other people in God's list. Well, as we all know, God always wins. (yey!!!)

Then, as God won, "Billy Wayne" returned to his old self as Bobby Sheldon. And they all lived happily every after.

I remembered my bestfriend's text message. It was a quote from Jim Carrey: "I think everybody should get RICH and FAMOUS and do everything they ever dreamed of...so they can see that it's NOT the answer."

Bobby learned his lesson. And from the movie, I should be greatful for what I already have. We may have all the riches in the universe. But what is wealth if we don't have our loved ones? As the quote says, money isn't the answer for everything. And in times of hardships, we should not forget about God. He is always there to help us. And most of all, let's not forget about God if we receive blessings. We owe it all to Him. Amen.

Ipod...

My iPod froze last night...huhuhu...

My Brother gave me an iPod (take note: 2nd gen with 4GB capacity..waaaaaaa). My fiance set it up for me since I didn't know how. We loaded it up with anime theme songs, dance music, opm, nursery rhymes, etc (everything that I like). It is only a month old, and last night, it froze.

I recharged it yesterday, during work. I forgot about it, and rebooted my system. Two hours later, I remembered that the iPod was attached to my PC and I immediately detached it. I kept it inside my cabinet, since I can't use it yet during office hours. When I was about to go home, I turned it on. After choosing a song, there it was, frozen! huhuhu

So there, the whole night, my iPod was on. I know because the backlight was on. When I woke up this morning, the battery's out. Now, I'm recharging it again (hopefully I won't forget it anymore), and I'm crossing my fingers. Wish me luck.

Memories

Just browsing thru Nykes pictures..may nakita lang ako..^_^

wawa si Cathy M...=)

Tatay na si Joey..hehehe

Hari ng singit:

(naluoy ko kay Ate Tin...hehehe)

maski sa amung office...

kataw-anan lang jud ni:

nalingaw ko kang Thea

alin..alin...alin ang naiba...(*singing)

(except sa singit king...^_^)

hilom-hilom lang ang uban..^_^ peace, Che..=P

The best picture is...ang F4

Inspirational Song

I really love this song by Carrie Underwood. I love the message. Now that I have a son, I just realize how touching this song is.

Jesus Take the Wheel

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati

On a snow white Christmas Eve

Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy

with the baby in the backseat

Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline

It'd been a long hard year

She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention

she was going way too fast

Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass

She saw both their lives flash before her eyes

She didn't even have time to cry

She was sooo scared

She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go

So give me one more chance

To save me from this road I'm on

Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder

And the car came to a stop

She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock

And for the first time in a long time

She bowed her head to pray

She said I'm sorry for the way

I've been living my life

I know I've got to change

So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go

So give me one more chance

To save me from this road I'm on

Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I'm on

From this road I'm on

Jesus take the wheel

Oh, take it, take it from me

Oh, why, oh

I really love the song!!!

huh???

I really wonder why there are people close to you and yet, they really can't understand you.

I guess one can't really expect people to understand him/her, even if they've known each other or they've been together for quite some time. What's worse, they'd tell you "You really don't understand me". huh????

*sigh

Another day in the office. But starting today, the full-flex-time is effective. Weeeeeee...Anyway, there's no so much impact on my side.

Anyway, my brother already left, back to Bahrain. He's flight was 1 am this morning. He was here in Cebu yesterday at 12:30 noon. He just stayed in the hotel. I never got the chance to see him before he left. I wanted to, but he was resting in the afternoon, and at night, he didn't want to go out (he's afraid..hehehe). I really wished I saw him yesterday. *sigh

Well, there he is, on his way to Bahrain, broken-hearted. He said he misses his daughter already. Well, even I would miss my son if I have to leave for work. He said, they already explained to her what happened to them. He was worried about my niece. I am too. I know her, and I know what she feels, because, we are the same. I just hope I can come home soon to take care of her, and help her. It's tough, especially that she's maintaining her grades. I believe it will affect her studies. I just hope we can still see her, that my sister can still play with her. =(

Well, got to work now.