Good news...Bad news...

Hi! I'm back! But not for long.

I'm just here in the office to check my emails. Two months will be that long so I have to check from time-to-time so as not to fill my inbox. I have to be updated. Hehehe.

Anyway, just a week has passed and I already have 79 messages in my inbox, mostly spam from my officemates. I'm gonna need a lot of time reading these. But I'll start today by posting in this blog. Hehe.

With regards to my pregnancy, I'm actually expecting to deliver starting yesterday. My OB suggested to expect early since when I got my ultrasound, EDC is already April 11, and it has a more or less two weeks error. But I'm hoping it won't come until the first week of April. I'm excited!

However, I got two worries. First, where are we suppose to get the financial support for my delivery? I wanted it to be cheap, so I want to deliver having a midwife attend to it. I'm also comfortable with them (never been admitted in a hospital before - not once). But I guess it can't be helped.

Second, my sister told me that they would really come here in holy week, my mom is also coming. They want me to be there! How am I suppose to hide from them. I am thinking....hmmm. Well, I'll just think of something.

Anyway, despite these worries, there were two good news that we received. First: my baby is fine and hopefully healthy. He's +/- 6 lbs. heavy and the doctor said it was normal. I'm quite happy for that. Second good news: my partner, the father of this baby, got hired in HP (Hewlett-Packard) - Ortigas. Pay's quite higher compared here, and he'll be passing his resignation letter here soon. He's hoping to start on May. The only issue - he's leaving us. Along with this happiness, I was crying three nights in a row. It's not that he's leaving us for good, but he's leaving us for our own sake. He wanted to be with the child, but we can't help it, he needs to be our provider, together with me. And if he's stuck here, he can't provide enough for the three of us. We have to work separately. Oh well. I'll just think that our situation is just like my brother's. He's working in Bahrain to support his family. =)

I guess that would be all for now. I'm fine and I don't want to cry anymore. I'm happy, were going to have a child of our own and I hope my family will accept this kind of arrangements. Besides, we're already a family, in the absence of marriage. I'm contented with the fact that we are responsible enough to not abandon our son. =)

That would be all for now. 'Til next time!

Last Day..

After a lot of crying yesterday, he apologized. So before the day ended, we were OK.

SO! Today's my last day at work. Not that I'm resigning, I'm just taking my maternity leave. We had a small dinner date last night - my teammates, I mean. Five of us will be gone for some time and one's going to resign and today's also her last day.

As I was saying, six members of our team are bidding farewell. The other four will be leaving for Atlanta, training stuff (hehehe) - Jon2 (our team leader), Val, Mark Joy, and Rex Torres. Since they are leaving, my colleague, Jane, is gonna take over Jon2's part as interim team leader.

So that's it! This is our last day and hope we'll have a great time. Maybe I can post something later since I'm done with my work. But for now, got to rest. My baby's moving inside me now. I guess he's awake. Hehehe.

Crying...letting go of a burden!

Right after I published my last post, he emailed me, saying a lot of things I don't really understand, accusing me that I am mad at him. But I'm not! I'm just worried.

Well, that's what he thinks. I cried just this afternoon, although I promised him I won't cry anymore. What can I do? He accused me of something. That's a big burden in my heart, specially to my baby. So I cried - a lot! Now I'm feeling better, but my abdomen really hurts. And my baby keeps on kicking. (*sigh) What a bother!

Now I haven't eaten my snacks yet. I haven't returned to my cube. I'm in the lab right now, trying to busy myself, and forget my frustrations. I'm actually hungry, but don't want to eat. I'm not in the mood.

HSBC Credit Card, him leaving next week.

I applied for one and they called me last night for verification of my application. Well, at least I can say there's an improvement, unlike that of Metrobank. I can pressume that in a matter of week, I'll have the credit card with me.

Now that I mention it, I just realize, who's going to receive it next week?

I authorize him to receive it, but since he'll leave next week for Manila, who am I suppose to authorize? Sheeeez! What a pain in the neck! I really want to cry now!

I guess I am really hopeless!

My Resignation...

A friend sent me this email and I sort of enjoyed it. So I'd like to share it...

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I
would like to accept the responsibilitiesof an 8 year-old.I want to go to
McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.I want to sail sticks
across a fresh mudpuddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.I want to think M&Ms
are better than money because you can eat them.I want to lie under a big oak
tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.I want to
return to a time when life was simple; When all you knew were colors,
multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because
you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.All you knew was to be
happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you
worried or upset.I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and
good.I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the
complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.I want to
live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains
of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there
is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.I
want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice,
peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.I am
officially resigning from adulthood.And if you want to discuss this further,
you'll have to catch me first, cause.............."Tag! You're it."

Happy...shalalala...

I really can't figure out the happiness that I feel today. I don't know!

Anyway, I finally filed my leave yesterday, after a series of inquiries to the ones responsible for the system. Hehehe. I wonder if they got annoyed. But that's their job anyway, so I think it's fine.

Also, we received our tasks yesterday. What's so funny is that it's already divided into weeks. Hehehe...Our manager's really serious at giving us something to work on hour every hour. Well, we used to complain about hours that we spent doing something. Now, she's given us tasks. Hehehe.

Nyway, that's all for now. Got nothing to say anymore.

Appreciating little things.

Sometimes, you'll just have to appreciate the things around you!

I feel really lucky for having him. He always assures me that everything's gonna be fine. He doesn't want me to get worried. Sometimes, I feel really guilty for not trusting him, for everything I've done, and for accusing him of something he didn't do (the TOCA and gamepad issue is what I mean). But at times like this, all I should be doing is to trust him.

Anyway, I love him more than ever. And I guess, my apologies are just not enough to compensate everything that I've done. But I hope he'll understand. I was upset that this happened to me, but that doesn't mean that I should be rude. I hope he really understands.

*sigh...got to work for now. Next week will be the start of my leave, but I haven't filed for it yet. The system won't still accept my request. Huhuhu...time is running out, and I'm very busy. Hope I wrap things up before my leave.

So bye for now!

I'm upset...=(

I feel so low again today.

Last night, he texted his friend asking the number of their batchmate, who was celebrating his birthday. Anyway, it was a series of texts. The last message he received was that his friend informed him that the Cubillo twins were board passers (which he already know), then she teased him: "imung sampaguita" (your sampaguita). I was hurt because she knew that he already have me. After that, I just laid down and sleep. I guess he didn't replied to that message until this morning. Well, at least he told her that he already have me, so that "sampaguita" she mentioned was already out of his mind. That's a relief!

Anyway, I feel so low. Our HR hasn't replied to my email. I haven't filed for my leave yet in the system since it always denied my request (says something about my absence days). I asked our HR for guidance, but to no avail. I am really worried now. Oh God! Please help me...*sob

PA's done!!!

It's been two hours since I last posted. Hehehe...Yes, got nothing to do here. Just finished my task yesterday, so now, we've got nothing to do.

PA's done! Weeeeeeeeee....I'm really happy. I talked to my manager and mentor from Atlanta. Man! My manager talks too fast. Thankfully I was able to catch up. I was really nervous. Hehehe.

Well, at least the outcome is OK.

Relieve??

This is suppose to be a nice day. *sigh

First thing's first. I don't know why but I really felt relieved when he told me he used his credit card when he bought the gamepad and TOCA. I'm not supposed to be happy because of the fact that he still bought it before my delivery, which means, he still has to pay for it even in installment. And I don't have my credit cards yet so I have to rely on his money for my delivery. Which means, the more he spends, even with the use of his credit card, the lesser money (or credit) can we use during my delivery. *sigh But I still felt relieved. Maybe because of the fact that there was no cash out.

Second thing, I got my approval again for my maternity leave. "Again" because I asked for an extension after I learned that our system for leaves won't accept the period I stated. It said that the leave must be a minimum of 60 days. For the second time, I applied in our system, but still, it won't accept. Huhuhu..I'm confunsed now. Oh God! Help me.

Job hunters...

We just finished our weekly meeting with our Team Leader. I actually have fun doing that. Even though my teammates are serious most of the time, they are able to laugh for a while.

Anyway, I can't help but think about what our TL told us in the meeting. One of our subteam only has one member (both his subteammates resigned, one looking for better management, and one to take care of their family business). Someone raised the issue: will the management hire another one for that subteam? Well, it was raised so our TL needs to answer that.

He said, it's really hard to find a replacement for those two because of the qualifications. Few poeple are applying in the company, and from that few, they will be filtered by a series of exams and interviews. It's really tough!

But what strucked me was when he said, he isn't really impressed with the graduates (or graduating students) today. Most of them are looking for easy money, hence, applying for call center agents. True enough, more and more graduates are not applying for jobs that they should be applying. Plus, these call center companies are really drool-some. They offer very high starting salaries, and most people are going for that. Job-hunters nowadays neglect to see their future with their supposed-to-be-profession.

But call center companies do not guarantee a long-term job. Eventually, these people will get tired of what they're doing. Then they'll resign. Now comes job-hopping. Hehehehe.

*sigh...When will people learn to be satisfied? I guess not. If someone wants to be satisfied, one should start doing what he or she wants/likes to be doing, even if he/she should start from zero. Don't you think?

Satisfying day!

Hi All!

I guess yesterday's day isn't that bad after all. My baby kicks a little bit, but it didn't hurt. I guess the hurting was really because of my tight pants the other day.

Nyway, work was fine, and at least I was busy. My managers approved my leave, and so I'm happy about it. Today, I'm applying it to the system, as well, for formality of my approved leave.

Nothing much really happened yesterday, except that I didn't watch any of my regular tv programs last night (whoah!!!). Hehehe. I guess I was just so tired that I really wanted to sleep early.

By the way, my love's planning to buy a racing wheel. But he said it will be later after my delivery (I hope!). I wish I can believe him. Well, let's see.

Hmmmm...what else. I think there's nothing more to add except that I'm starting to read other people's blogs to occupy my time. So that's all for now. Back to work! =)

Maternity Leave Approval, Credit Card, but still lonely..*sigh

Good day to all!

I just got an approval for my maternity leave from our Manager in Atlanta. Yey! That's the second great news I received today. First is that the new image for our Image Certification just came in. Another yey! We can continue with our work, no more BUMssss...weeeee.

Anyway, yesterday wasn't really a pleasant day for me. My baby kicked all day long and my pants is tight. So in the evening, my abdomen really hurts. I was actually worried that I'll be in labor today. Yey for me, it's not. And it's still too early. And I still have to make this fetus grow (my OB said my baby is really small). All in all, I really feel terrible. *sigh

At least I also got a good news yesterday. My credit card agent called and she said she'll process the card right away after she verified my birth date and birth place.

Nyway, I still felt so low. I was staring all night at the wall and he was worried. He asked me if I have a problem and I just replied "Nothing, I'm just tired". If he only knew (*sigh). I asked him if he knows my worries, he said yes. So I asked him if he knows what upsets me. Just as I suspected, he has no idea. Then for him not to grow suspicious, I changed the topic. =)

Well, other than that, nothing special really happened. After watching Maria Flordeluna, I slept.

That's all for now. Need to get back to work. Got a lot of things to do, so little time.

Furious? Keep quiet!

Hi There Again!

I guess I will be writing this to fill up what happened since my last post. I got so tired to make an entry within those days. Anyway, here we go.

Friday, March 2
After work, my partner and I went to Ayala. I met up with this agent (as I have mentioned in my previous post) for applying an HSBC Red Mastercard. After that, we went to SM. My partner said he's going to buy something. I asked him what and he just said he wanted to buy a control pad (the joystick one, for racing). I said ok, but man! I was thinking, where'd he get the money???

Anyway, I didn't told him but I was already furious with that idea. So I was quiet. But before buying, I got hungry so we ate first in Chowking. I ordered the usual thing, but because that time was very busy, it took time for our order to be delivered at our table. Anyway, I waited patiently. I asked three waiters for a "kalamansi", but none of them responded. Our orders were in, but still no "kalamansi". I didn't talk, I didn't ate either. I waited until I was shaking, raging with fury. I wanted to cry, to shout, but I don't want to talk to anybody. I can't even talk or eat or just open my mouth. He noticed it so he stood up and ask for a "kalamansi" at counter himself. By then, it got me to calm down.

After we ate, I told him to go ahead since I wanted to pee first. I told him I'll just follow him there. After I peed, I went up and sit at one of the benches there, near Thirsty!. He then approached me and handed me what he bought, then he left again, he said he still hadn't bought the joystick. So I wondered, what did he hand me over? After he left, I checked the bag. There it is! TOCA! Worth PhP 1,995! I was really furious. I mean, I know he'll gonna buy that, but I didn't expect it to be now! How could he buy that much when I'm here worrying where to get money for my delivery. I can't even buy myself something useful, and he's there buying himself those things. I mean, I'm spending all my money in preparation for the coming baby (and he's not even spending that much), the baby's clothing, blankets, my checkups, my vitamins. Yes, he shares, but not that much. Yes, he pays the things we buy, but I will be paying them back. Which means, I owe them all to him. I wanted to cry, but I told him I'm crying anymore. So I guess, I'll just keep quite.

Oh, he also bought the joystick, worth PhP 995. Now I wonder, would he really support our baby???

Saturday, March 3
Nothing much happened. I was still down so I didn't talk much. We were suppose to watch the play "Taong Grasa" at the CAP Auditorium, but I told him I'm not going anymore. Good thing we haven't bought the tickets yet. I was not in the mood and was still thinking about how much he spent the day before. I told him I have no money to buy for the tickets, even though I know for myself that I saved something for that. Anyway, he went out to play basketball with our officemates, I was left at home, reading "Death Note"

Sunday, March 4
We were suppose to go to church, but we both woke up late. I was still furious but I was not showing it to him. I was still down, but was still talking to him so he wouldn't notice.

Nyway, we bought some stuff for the baby: pillows and comforters, mosquito net, hooded blankets, toiletries, etc. He paid it through his credit card, but I will be the one paying it. We went home after that, and I was supposed to be happy since the baby's things are almost complete. I already packed the baby's things after they dried up (I washed them last Saturday, March 3). I grouped and put them in plastic containers, then label them so that he will know which is which. He's a first-time Dad and we have no idea if his mother will be around for my delivery (not that I'm not a first-time Mom, but at least I've witnessed three delivers, my Mom's, my Sister's, and my Sister-in-law's). So I can't take any chances. He doesn't know anything yet, especially when caring a newly born infant.

Nyway, I was still angry, and quiet. So after PBB Season 2, at 10:30 pm, I already slept.


Now, I'm going back to work. Hehehe...

After a day's work...@__@

It's almost 5pm and I'm excited to go home. I'm meeting up a credit card agent after work at Ayala. Hopefully, my application will be approved very soon.

Nyway, I'm so tired even though I did nothing much. All I did was to wait for the "new products" to arrive. My work is so boring, and yet, I feel very tired everytime I go home. I don't really know why. Maybe because of the extra weight I'm having. Hehehe..

Well, I think that would be all for now. Thank God it's Friday!!! Bye for now! ^_^

I'm a newbie!!!

Hi there!

Obviously, I'm a newbie. A lot of my "friends" have blogs, and they're updating them every now and then. So I guess, it's time for me to start my own blog.

Oh well, please forgive me if I won't disclose my real name here. I believe I might post very revealing things here, so as to protect my privacy (though starting a blog is already giving it away to thousands and millions of people..hehehe), you can all call me "B".

Well, that's all for now. Hope to update this, too, (like my "friends") every now and then.

Bye for now!!!