Reality Bites!!!

I believe everybody knows it already, but let me just re-iterate it, life sucks! Not that everything about it is, but some of it really sucks.

It's been two years since I graduated and started working. And while on it, I realize something that I didn't know when I was still studying. Well, that's just life. You can't foresee things and no one will ever tell you what will happen next or what you should expect. All we know is that life is not what it seems. We know that living a life is hard, but we have no idea how hard it is until we are actually living that life.

So what's my realization? I realize that in our era now, we can't be too sure that we get what we really want, especially with jobs. I realize that aside from being lucky and unlucky income-raiser, there are four types of scenarios:

> One, if you are very lucky, you are in the right company with the right job. You get to enjoy what you are doing, then the very stable company is taking really good care of you.
> Second, if you are lucky enough, you are in the right company but with the wrong job. Why still lucky? Because even if you don't enjoy your work, at least you are assured that you're company is stable and is giving you the proper benefits with good pay. You are assured to live. Some may react saying that you must enjoy your work, but for me, at least I can feed my family. Anyway, I don't get so serious with my work, so whatever it is, I can still enjoy it.
> Third, you have the right job but with the wrong company? Is there such thing? Yes! You love what you are doing, but the company doesn't really care about you. All it thinks about is the production part. They don't give you the right benefits and the right attitude. In short, they are not taking good care of you.
> Lastly, if you are really ill-fated, then you are both in the wrong company with the wrong job. This is what we commonly call desperate measures. You just work in order to survive economically. You don't like the company, and worse, you don't like your job. You just took the opportunity, telling yourself, "kesa naman wala" (rather than nothing).

*sigh
In my two years of work, I've already been to second and third scenarios. It's hard, and what only keeps me going is my willingness to survive. But these days, it's really hard to reach scene one. With a lot of job-seekers on the loose, and lesser companies, it's really really hard. But at least I survive these two scenarios.

Now that I think of it, if my application in our hometown gets processed, then I will undergo scene 4. *sigh...this is really inevitable. :(

Rumors and Advices

I was actually thinking a lot about rumors and advices this morning. It even stopped me from doing my caselets (which is due this week...huhuhu). I was thinking, I wanted to blog about these two things today. But now that I'm here, and not doing a task anymore, I can't seem to start what to really say.

So I guess, I'm hopeless. One minute, I was thinking a lot of things, then by the next, my mind is completely blank. I won't say it's because I'm getting older (from a comment of one of my previous posts: "signs of aging"). I think it's because there's just really a lot of things going on my mind, that, unconciously, I'd rather forget that ruin my entire day, and my concentration as well.

So what about rumors and advices. Well, I can't say a lot about rumors, except that fact that it's a mixture of truth and lies. So why get so affected? Unless these rumors, even though labeled as just a "gossip", these so-called rumors are true. And one gets very angry to the one spreading the rumors because, the guilty one secretly knows it is true. Do I make sense at all?

How about advices? Well, I can say that I'm really good at giving advices. Everytime my siblings and my friends seek help, I'm just there for them. But lately, I can't say the right advice for the right person. Take my Brother, for example. He's got a lot of problems, and I know that he's telling me everything because he knows that I can give him a good advice. But the last time he texted me, I can't answer him back. I can't even solve my own problems, how can I possibly give him one? So I just told him, I'm sorry I can't give him a soundly advice, but I told him if I was in his shoes, I'd probably do something that he can't even do. (What a lame suggestion, right?)

Anyway, since I can't think straight anymore (about my problems), I seek some help. Thankfully, someone responded with a very soundly advice. I told myself, well, I should give it a try, and was actually hoping it might turn out well.

Well, before I even take an action on that advice, something happened. I feel so gloomy, I cried everynight since Sunday and if it isn't because of work and Hana Kimi (the manga that I'm currently reading), I might be very worked out because of my current situation. *sigh

So what's next, I'm here right now writing a blog. *sigh I hate this...

Sibling Fight

My younger sister and I had a fight last Sunday afternoon, just after lunch time. Well, it all started with our nephew, and eventually, the two of us end up fighting.

What happened is that our nephew wanted to return to our house after changing some clothes (he's so wet because of playing). Then my sister was really annoyed and didn't want him to be back. She was teasing him "Dili na ka mubalik" (You're not coming back). Even if our mother was already telling our nephew that he could come back and play again, my sister and our nephew were so noisy arguing. So that's the time I butt in.

I told my sister to shut up and let it be, but she won't. I told her she doesn't have the right to make such decision, and she talked back to me, blah blah blah, and we were the ones arguing now. She ended up locking herself up in our room, crying. At the same time, I ended up crying while putting my son to sleep in our parent's room (since my sister was in our room). I was thinking, both of us don't have the right to make such decisions, because we're just living in our parent's house, it's not really our home, the final say is still from our parents.

So two hours have passed, and my sister and I were not talking with each other. Well, for me, I can live with it, not talking to anyone for one whole day. I'm used to that. But my sister can't. I'm the only one who can understand her, and the one she always ran to everytime she has a problem. So I guess that's the reason why she came to me after that very silent two hours and apologized.

I felt sorry for what happened. I mean, I don't know if it was right for me to get involved with their argument, but I can't stand it if our nephew will end up crying again, and make our brother-in-law mad and blame everything to his son (for being so thick-headed). I don't want him to end up like our niece, Cecil, whose been forbidden to come in house when she was still little, because my sister kept making her cry everytime she's with us. Did I do the right thing? Having a fight with my sister to protect our nephew?

Well, not that I'm not used to it, fighting my sister (i mean). We had fights before ever since I can remember. Sibling fights are inevitable, especially if the you have a very close relationship with your siblings. But the question is, did I have the right reasons to fight over with my siblings? Am I on the right direction to discipline my sister and instill good values? Our mother didn't make a fuss about our fight last Sunday, and just left us alone. Does that mean I was right? I don't really know.

Funny Thing

A very funny thing happened to me this morning.

Well, I took the Toril route jeep, as usual. And as we stopped by SM Davao, a lot of passengers left, leaving only three of us. Then the dispatcher was saying "Ah!, hurot man" (Ah! All of them are gone!). Anyway, from that point, I was thinking about the next time I'll take a trip to Sirawan. I was thinking on what to ride when I get to Toril.

After passing City Hardware, I was already in deep thoughts about going to Sirawan. Then I just realized, I'm on a jeep. Finally, I told myself, "Hala! Asa gani ko padulong karon???" (Where am I suppose to go right now???). It took me around 10 seconds to realize that I'm actually going to work. I actually panic! hahaha! It's a good thing we're still in Quimpo.

It's really funny that even for a simple matter, you may forget what you are about to do. Like when thinking on a project or an assignment while riding a jeepney, instead of giving the fare, you gave a sheet of paper. Or while walking, instead of going straight, you turned right. Funny, but inevitable. That's why, older people always tell us: "presence of mind".

Wala lang, just a simple thought. I know I've learned a lesson there, but I'm not sure if it won't happen again. hehehe