Love and Separation

My brother and his wife separated. I just learned last night, and they only told my Sister and I about it.

My brother is the only boy in the family. He and his wife have a daughter, whom I love very much because she's my first niece. My brother worked very hard to support his family, he even went to Bahrain for a higher wage. When he was away, he always told me, he wanted another child. For 10 years, he told me, he wanted Utchik (his daughter) to have a sibling. When I told him about my baby, he always texted me, he's excited to see my son. He misses to see a baby. He loves babies. When he finally got home last May 23, I was looking forward to having a new niece/nephew (I was actually hoping for a nephew, his heir). But now that they're separated, all hopes are gone.

I really pity him. It was so stupid of me to give him this problem, that in fact, he also has his own problems. And so stupid of me not to notice about the separation. I know that his wife always sleeps in their house whenever he goes home. Why didn't I notice that in the first place.

I pity him because he loved her so much, that he'll do everything for her. I pity him more because he needed to work away from his family for their sake. And I pity him most because she left him, not trying to work their marriage out. I don't want to judge her and say she didn't do anything. But the fact that she left, and didn't wait for my brother's return, makes me think, she really doesn't love her. In her last text message, she said that started to feel pain with love and that she has to save herself from that pain, adding that one can find another love, but not self. Isn't that a word from a selfish person, who doesn't really understand love.

I admit, I'm very much younger and doesn't really know that much about life, but I know what love is. It's not suppose to be painful - it's hard, but not painful. Once you've found love, and understands what it is, you won't say you can find another one, because love happens only once, there's no second chance. And I believe, if you understand love, you'll learn that it is your life, thus part of yourself.

Now I'm starting to believe, she doesn't really love my brother. And if that's the case, then he deserves someone far better than her, that will love him with all her heart, and will never say that love is painful. My brother deserves someone who will love him back.

*sigh

Jamiel Myles

Here is my son, Jamiel Myles M. Bacus!!!

Trying out.

I'm just trying this one out.

Cross-posting to multiply was enabled, just I've said prior to this post. I tried disabling it today, and wanna see the result. So here, I'm posting again. Hehehe.

So here it goes. Wish me luck!

Stupidest Thing and Connections

Stupid me!

I was browsing my Multiply account and saw the blog feature. I was browsing thru it and trying to "cross-blog" (is that the right term?). I cancelled it, though. However, I just learned that the last blog I posted here ("Another day...") was also posted in Multiply. My classmate before saw it, read it, and commented it. I didn't know until my boyfriend told me. How really stupid! I posted another entry there, saying that my account was hacked and that someone else entered that post, not me. I just hope they'll believe it.

Anyway, so there it is. Another stupid thing I did. What's worse, my boyfriend thinks that he should tell her, the one who read that stupid multiply blog. She had bad feelings because we, I mean in his case,he denied it. She was his close friend back in college. He established a very close connection to her, thinking she's his sister. I said go ahead. Then I turned invisible in YM. hmp!

Sometimes, when you established a very close connection to someone, you'll just feel very sad when you let them down, even if it's not their business at all. You just can't live a "wonderful" life if they have bad feelings towards you. I mean, is there really a life so wonderful?

*sigh
I can't blame him if he clings to other people. He lived a life alone, being an only child. He doesn't know the feeling of a person surrounded by people one thought to be trustworthy, but not at all. He easily trusts people. Well, I don't. That's why I'm hiding , AMAP, everything about my self and my life. I don't trust people at all. And that's why, I don't really establish that kind of connection he's giving to other people.

In this life, one should learn how to be alone. I'm not implying to be always alone, people needs someone. No man is an island, that's what they say. But you just can't trust anybody. Don't depend on other people, even to your closest friend or to your lifetime partnet. That's what I learned.

Another day...

Darn!!! I created a very long blog yesterday, but when I was about to publish it, poof! It's gone! Haven't even saved it yet. *sigh...life!



Anyway, I left my son again with his Lola (his father's mother). I'm in the office, doing nothing. I wish I can go home so easily, but it will be a bad record for me here. So I have to be here even if I don't want to. I have to be away from my son. I miss him. I hope he's asleep, not giving his grandmother a headache. Hehehe.



*sigh...This office is really boring. Server's down again so we can't open our reference for the testing. Just another day in the office, waiting for the time to pass. But this time, I'm looking forward to going home. I'm always excited to go home because of my baby. I always want to see him, hug him, kiss him. Now I believe, after a very tiresome day, when you got home, everything will just go away. You'll feel that you just woke up. Hehehe.

Just another day? Hmmm...not really. It's another day, but one of those great ones. Even if work is boring, life's exciting when at home with your child.

Final Word? I LOVE MY SON!!!!

That's all.

My Name...

WHAT DOES YOUR NAME SAY ABOUT YOU?:
A: you like to drink.
B: you like people.
C: you are really silly.
D: one in a million.
E: fun to be with.
F: you never let people tell you what to do.
G: you are very broad minded.
H: you have a very good personality, looks and a very good kisser.
I: you snore.
J: people adore u.
K: you're wild and crazy.
L: unbelievably great in bed.
M: great in bed.
N: you like to drink a LOT.
O: awesome kisser.
P: you are popular with all types of people.
Q: you are hypocrite.
R: fuckin crazy. (in a fun way)
S: easy to fall in love with.
T: you're loyal to those you love
U: you are really silly.
V: you are not judgemental
W: you are dead sexy.
X: you never let people tell you what to do.
Y: best boy/girl friend any one can ask for.
Z: always ready.

========

M: great in bed.
E: fun to be with.
L: unbelievably great in bed.
A: you like to drink.
N: you like to drink a LOT.
I: you snore.
E: fun to be with.

M: great in bed.
A: you like to drink.
M: great in bed.
U: you are really silly.
G: you are very broad minded.
A: you like to drink.
Y: best boy/girl friend any one can ask for.

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Do I have to react? hmmmmm...

I'm back!

Hello to all!!

Just passing by and inform everyone that I'm back -- back to work, back to internet surfing. Hehehe.

I have a baby boy! weeeeee..