Have you ever felt so much disappointed in your life because you won't be able to meet your original plan? Well, I have.
When I started working here in Cebu, I've got a lot of plans. I don't want to stay in this field forever, so I decided to make stepping stones for myself.
1. Work here for two years (or least have some savings)
2. Resign from this job, go home and re-apply for another one (since I have saved here, money is not an issue anymore)
3. Get another degree in college (2nd courser - BSA or BSBA, business-related)
4. Graduate and take board exam (if applicable)
5. Either resign from job and get another, accountant perhaps, OR put up business
6. Get married and have children.
Before I got this first job, even before I got into college, I said to myself, planning isn't important. I'll just go with the flow. This is because I didn't plan to study Computer Science. But after graduating, I planned my life carefully. I've got a wonderful plan. And when I got here, I was happy - the first phase.
A lot of wonderful things played in my mind. I am away from my family, I can be as independent as I want, and I have a high-paying job. I know I can save money for a second course. But my plan was...let's say..destroyed??? The moment I got pregnant, I knew for myself, I can't continue to step up. Getting pregnant was a huge roadblock that I can't get thru.
All of a sudden, I'm a mother. Single parent, that is. The original plan was ruined, and there's no way to turn back time, or to return to the road that I've set. The supposed-to-be smooth-sailing journey became so rough, and there's no way out. I sank.
Hmmm..getting back to the original plan. At least I finished the first year of my first stage (with no savings at all); I jumped into step 6 (not totally since I have a child first before getting married); then going back to step 2, resigning and reapplying for a job (but money is still a very big issue); and no more steps 3, 4, and 5. What a plan, huh?
I don't have plans again. And I don't want to make one anymore. I don't believe in plans. I guess I'll stick to what I believe before, don't make plans - just go with the flow and see what happens. Plans are dumb.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
"Original Plan", is ther such thing as plan???
Melay
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1 comment:
both of us had plans. when our son came, i needed to change plans. i'm disappointed not just about the change of my plans but with myself for ruining our plans, especially yours.
but i don't want to stop here. i don't take our son as a roadblock. it's just that things have become tougher for both of us, but a lot for you.
we're still at the first phase of our lives. the second phase is about to begin soon. and we don't just stop planning or dreaming. yes, it's so tough. but plans are never impossible to achieve unless we say and believe that it is.
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