I was eating dinner last night when I suddenly remembered my Sister-in-law's last forwarded message to me. It said something like "what will happen to a relationship when love fades away?" I remember replying to her, saying, "if you really and truly love the person, it will never fade, it will prosper instead." Months later, when my Brother went home, I just knew then that they separated. I was furious to her, and I was thinking, she never loved my brother from the very start.
I stuck to what I believed in, until I've read this piece from an Istoryan forumer. Didn't know if she got this somewhere since she didn't site a source. But I like the message: Love is not enough in marriage.A married couple appeared in court to finalize their divorce proceedings and as the case continued, the unfaithful, husband seated next to his young, stunning mistress, looked over to his soon to be ex-wife and gazed a few moments. It has been years since he actually looked at her. Months since they have separated but years since they had parted. Somewhere along the road of home and children, he left her hand. Somewhere along the road of marriage, he dismissed her feelings. Somewhere along the road of life, he forgot her smile.
I realize, love does fade away as time passes by, and what's left in marriage is friendship. This is because love alone is not enough. The couple must work together to remain in-love with each other. But if love really did faded away, is it a ground for separation? You've undergone marriage, which is a "spiritual covenant of commitment is ordained before a living God", thus, making marriage sacred. Do you not love God that you want annulment or divorce? Do you have no respect to Him? Because as I remember it, we had our vows in front of God, that as a couple, we will love each other and stay by his/her side forever, until death do us part. Is it the kind of love that we want to show our kids? If we get separated, how can we tell them what is love and respect God?
Caught in a mirror of thoughts, he fathomed this to be the right alternative. Another chapter of his life started and she was just not part of it. Another journey embarked but a new partner to journey with. Well, it will soon be over and each of us could move on. Time stilled for one more moment and his heart whispered her name. As he gazed at his wife one last time, she started to look familiar.
He saw her broken nails and shriveled fingers and yet his new found love has a manicured hand adorned with a beautiful new diamond ring. Then he remembered those same shriveled fingers washed his clothes and cooked his food, hugged him in the morning and clasped him close to pray .He saw her wrinkled face with tear stained eyes and his girlfriend's beautiful red lips and alluring eyes .Then he remembered that was the same face that smiled when he was distressed and cried at his achievements. He saw his new found love's defined body and his wife's out of shape physique. Then it struck him quite plainly, that was the body that bore him, his children. Just then, the mallet was about to end a lifetime commitment .
Forgive me, I was selfish, I thought of only myself and what I wanted and needed. As these words left his mouth, his wife motioned towards him and tears of remorse and heartache turned to tears of reconciliation and lost love was now found.
A life time of memories is found in a single laugh, a shy hello, a jolly giggle and even an angry argument. If tomorrow never comes, what of today found its way to that beautiful box of forget -me-nots. Spouses lose each other when much is always done but the little is forgotten. A Cinderella ending is not always the
outcome of a divorce proceeding but before your marriage takes you there , be sure to change direction. Far too long, spouses take each other for granted. Knowing replaces telling and understanding replaces affection. The once sought after words of love and endearment is now riddled with bills to pay and needs to be met. Never assume one knows how you feel without saying it out loud. Words in space leave lasting impressions on the heart. A hug screams affection and a touch speaks volumes. Measure your love for your spouse in a bottomless filter, where there will never be enough, ever fill up or even come to an end.
Husbands and wives are still people with every intact emotion so be sure dear ones, to never lose sight of the one who kept you up chatting to the early hours of the morning .Let stars shine in your eyes when you look into theirs and dress your lips with love , when you say their name.
Marriage and Love" if a husband and wife do not feel they are in love at any given moment in their relationship then this is likely to be a sign that their marriage relationship needs to be worked on. Marriages must be built with your love for each other being woven into the agape love of God. Marriage is a glorious part of a human life and this spiritual covenant of commitment is ordained before a living God. Let the Holy spirit be the power that keeps you from not only loving your spouse but rather , keeps you always IN LOVE with your spouse. Stay in the Love of God with each other. Love is not enough when it lies untold.
"And the two shall become one flesh."
It's hard to be a couple. You have to accept your spouse whoever he/she may be. It's hard to stay in love with each other if you have misunderstandings. But this is the path we chose. So in order for marriage to last, we have to work this out.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Love and Marriage
Labels: Family, Reflection
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