The Answer

I thinking about Claudia's advise, and it did help me to discern. I recalled what I did back in college and now I have some of the answers why I made it to the honor's list even though I don't really have the passion for it.


First, my goal. I set up my goal: to be at least one of the students in the honor's list. All my life I thought that I wouldn't make it. So when I enrolled in college, my mindset was "Come what may". But when I became one of the Dean's Listers, it gave hope to me. So I set that goal. To be one of my father's kids that he can be proud of.

Second, motivation. My father was one of my motivations. He used to tell me that I am weak. And his words became my challenge. I want to fight him, but I don't want to hurt him. And my goal was the only way that I can prove to him I'm worth his daughter. My anger was motivation. Well, that was the start. But as I continued studying, I met people and learn something. It's not good to be imprisoned with that anger. *sigh

Other than that of my father, I don't have the reason to stay home. So I guess I have no other choice. Besides, my place before was just one block away from the university. I don't have enough reason to be absent.

Lastly, believing in myself. My whole life back then was a mess. My father don't believe in me, I have no friends, and my siblings were also too busy to attend to my needs. So I have no one to attend to my needs. So whoelse will help me to achieve my goal? Only me. However, I wouldn't say that I was really alone. I have my fiance to guide me. (Thanks Baby)

So that kept me thinking. My assignment, until I have the "courage" to go to the office, is to find these three "pillars" of efficient working.