Stupidest Thing and Connections

Stupid me!

I was browsing my Multiply account and saw the blog feature. I was browsing thru it and trying to "cross-blog" (is that the right term?). I cancelled it, though. However, I just learned that the last blog I posted here ("Another day...") was also posted in Multiply. My classmate before saw it, read it, and commented it. I didn't know until my boyfriend told me. How really stupid! I posted another entry there, saying that my account was hacked and that someone else entered that post, not me. I just hope they'll believe it.

Anyway, so there it is. Another stupid thing I did. What's worse, my boyfriend thinks that he should tell her, the one who read that stupid multiply blog. She had bad feelings because we, I mean in his case,he denied it. She was his close friend back in college. He established a very close connection to her, thinking she's his sister. I said go ahead. Then I turned invisible in YM. hmp!

Sometimes, when you established a very close connection to someone, you'll just feel very sad when you let them down, even if it's not their business at all. You just can't live a "wonderful" life if they have bad feelings towards you. I mean, is there really a life so wonderful?

*sigh
I can't blame him if he clings to other people. He lived a life alone, being an only child. He doesn't know the feeling of a person surrounded by people one thought to be trustworthy, but not at all. He easily trusts people. Well, I don't. That's why I'm hiding , AMAP, everything about my self and my life. I don't trust people at all. And that's why, I don't really establish that kind of connection he's giving to other people.

In this life, one should learn how to be alone. I'm not implying to be always alone, people needs someone. No man is an island, that's what they say. But you just can't trust anybody. Don't depend on other people, even to your closest friend or to your lifetime partnet. That's what I learned.