Regrets

Have you ever regretted anything in your life?  I know I do.

I can't believe I'll say this, but I've never felt so much regret in my life...except for this.  I know I have regrets...but not this much.  I didn't wish for another way around...except for this.  I never hoped to turn back time...except this time.  I never cried for anything that doesn't involve my own life and my loved ones' lives...except for this person.

I can't recall ever saying, I wish I didn't have a child so soon...because I'm happy with my kids right now.  I haven't said if I can turn back time and marry again, I wish it's more fabulous, because my wedding was the best it could be that time, and I'm happy with it.  And never in my life did I say, I wish I didn't take that job in Cebu...because I had the time of my life there, I learned to live.

But last night, I cried so hard for one regret...and it doesn't even involve myself, my family, my loved ones.  I cried because of one regret...that I hesitated.  I asked myself, why did I ever hesitate if it can cause one innocent life?  Every time I remember that event, I bow my head in shame, and cry in vain.  Why did I ever turn my back?   What have I become that I was so cold and heartless?

I wish I called out.  I wished I asked.  I wish I helped.